The Durak Report May 01, Anno Domini 2026

1. Recent News

1.1. Ceasefire hangs in the balance as impatient Trump awaits response from Iran

Same thing as ever. "Peace is soon!"

1.2. Tariffs and Restrictions on Scottish whiskey to be Removed

Mehbe Scotch will come down?

1.3. Tim Allen trolls ‘No Kings’ lawmakers for fawning over actual King Charles

Well, title says it all!

1.4. Minnesota mayors drag 'ridiculous' bill penalizing cities for not flying new controversial flag

What a world!

1.5. As Iran war hits key 60-day deadline, Congress and Trump face choices on next steps

I'd guess it'll keep going. Kinda hard to just pull out now. They argue that the clock doesn't tick during a ceasefire.

1.6. Louisiana suspends House primaries for May 16 following Supreme Court ruling, other races will go on scheduled

They have illegal districts, they gotta fix it before the primaries can happen.

1.7. The weirdest aspect of the Iran war that has befuddled oil experts

I've been saying it. Trump's been saying. Experts are saying it. Why aren't gas prices higher?

1.8. Putin and Trump speak by phone – Kremlin aide

Putin and trump have a nice chat saying nice things and all. I like that Easter peace! I like that you didn't get murdered during the press event! Aw shucks, thanks! Now you take care!

2. Extra words for which nobody asked

I'm not going to link it, but one of the top stories on CNN is how some dude quit soccer and started taking naked self portraits. So yea, I got to see a naked guy on the front page of CNN. Wtf?

3. Salutations

Thanks to everyone who reads my little posts here. May you all have a blessed day.

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